The Beach Diaries 2011

Summer is the time for projects. Two years ago, we survived The Summer of Savile – this year, I took to the beach. Littlehampton beach, to be exact. Generally, I observed, people-watching and taking notes, like that dude who lived with bears, and eventually got eaten in his tent. Occasionally though, events or emotions would metaphorically reach out with a hairy claw, to give me a gentle pat on the head, or streak my face with scars.

Here is a record of those events.

#1 – Mother Nature’s sneak preview

#2 – Of (tit) Mice and (blind) Men

#3 – A wild Ron appears

#4 – “I  <heart> nerds – but only as a fashion statement”

#5 – Look the part, be the part, motherfucker

#6 – Gangsta trippin’

#7 – Tonight, the world is ours

#8 – Hot lifeguards, Hulkamania and Old Rog’s secret

#9 – Pay no attention to the Ron behind the curtain

#10 – Wherein hearts are restarted, while others crack

#11 – The day I nearly died

#12 – Egg-men, demon babies and widdy woo-wa

#13 – The monsters in the mist

#14 – Monsters II – The invasion

#15 – The sexiness equation

#16 – Giant Baby Man and the BMX Bandits

#17 – In which I find disgrace at the hands of the French

#18 – No means no: The red flag

#19 – Overheard Conversations bumper pack

#20 – This is how it ends. Not with a bang

- Epilogue -

Post-Credits Scene

(And if you enjoyed these (totally free) pieces, feel free to show your appreciation by buying my books so I don’t inadvertently scupper next year’s follow-up by dying of starvation before 2011 is out. I half-arsed the pimping of the Kindle books this summer, because I spent so much time at the beach, so a shill here isn’t too whorish. For non-Kindle owners, Amazon do a swanky free app for PC/Mac/iPad/Phones, and the books themselves are the price of, or cheaper than, a pint, with almost none of the threat of liver disease. Plus, not to blow my own horn, but they’re pretty awesome)

Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

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~ by Stuart on September 7, 2011.

2 Responses to “The Beach Diaries 2011”

  1. [...] All the previous Beach Diaries entries are collated here. [...]

  2. [...] to love about him? He obsesses over films, he relentlessly pursues the affections of Ellen Page, he spent the whole summer on a beach writing down every bizarre thing that he saw purely for your enter…, he once read Jimmy Saville’s entire mental autobiography just so he could pick out the most [...]

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