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• Hey @EllenPage, would you hold my novel, guitar case and cheques made out to children's charities while I do 1,000 chin-ups? Cheers. 7 hours ago
• With his "What? Something I said?" moon of a face. RT @johnlister: @franticplanet Picture caption behind him: Scouting For Boys 7 hours ago
• The Boy Scouts (in the US) have lifted the ban on openly gay scouts. Just imagine the Jimmy Carr punchline to that. Imagine it. Not pretty. 7 hours ago
• Been working hard lately, so I treated myself to a pamper day. I spent the day in Pampers. 11 hours ago
• RT @bytagoe: 75-year-old Pakistani man killed by a white man with a machete in Birmingham two weeks ago. Barely any media coverage http://t… 21 hours ago
• Can't get this captcha to accept twitpic.com/csk94x 21 hours ago
• Fun game -- see if you can spot an EDL that isn't breathing entirely through their gaping mouth. Nobody has ever won at this game. 1 day ago
• Alan Sugar patrons many charities and is the face of testicular cancer. Well, a testicle. 1 day ago
• Those 'award winning' steaks are the processed flesh from forgotten, back-flipping 2000s girlband Buffalo G #theapprentice 1 day ago
• 'Myles Mordaunt'?! Surely that's the protagonist in a series of poorly written novels about a vampire with chronic anxiety #theapprentice 1 day ago