Summer of Savile – Day 2: Aspirations

As we scratch around our wretched existences waiting to die, we’ve all dreamed about the wonderful things we’d do and buy if we came into sudden wealth. A lottery win, a multi-million-pound record deal won on a reality show, or being bummed on a ferris wheel by a famous singer and taking £10m to never speak of it again – these are the heights to which we futily grasp. From humble beginnings, Jimmy Savile was no different, and one day, he did have it all, and all the questions of what you’d do when you could finally live life as it were meant to be lived were answered.

Imagine what it is like to be able to do almost what you want. Fly to Australia? Buy an island? Have a thousand suits? It’s all yours as long as you don’t let it kill you.

A thousand suits! Just imagine! The first time I read that paragraph, I actually ejaculated at the very idea of a thousand suits.

I don’t know why you’d want or need to fly to Australia if you had a thousand suits, unless you were hollering “I’ve got a thousand suits, you Aussie twats, how many have you got? Probably between one and three, if that!” out of the cockpit window before laughing and flying straight back home. Someday soon I’ll be rich, but I’ll have 1001 suits, and I’ll wear them all at once. I won’t need to fly to Australia, because I’ll be such a gigantic, important man, they’ll be able to hear my footsteps through the Earth.

“Wow, if I had a big car, and was Elvis and had that cup it’d be great!”

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~ by Stuart on July 1, 2009.

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