The Bargain of the Willenium

Why, hello there.

For the next few days, my Kindle book, Dirt Baby and Other Small Mercies, is available for the price of zero pounds and zero pence. Or, zero dollars and zero cents. Yes, nothing. I’m literally giving it away. Best described as “a strange little book of strange little stories,” Dirt Baby is a mini-length collection of super short, weird little stories, and perfect for reading on the train, toilet, or just in regular, normal places like in a bed or on a chair.

Free! In 2013! When even urine is taxed.

Free! In 2013! When even urine is taxed.

If you always saw me harping on about the stuff I’d written, but never got around to sampling it yourself, or couldn’t figure out the best way in, Dirt Baby is the perfect entry-level me-book, at the perfect price (free!)

Let’s be honest. In this economy, if you brazenly sit there and turn down free stuff, you’re essentially pleasuring those cackling fat cats, like bankers, toffs and Iain Duncan Smith, with your mouth and hands, while the little guy (i.e. you and everyone you’ve ever loved) goes hungry and limp in the gutters below. That’s not a metaphor. If you don’t download Dirt Baby, this will literally happen. That’s what the fat cats do. Don’t come running to me on Monday morning when your mouth’s all sore from being full of Tory, because I’ve given fair warning.

But anyway, Dirt Baby is pretty awesome, and I’d be wildly appreciative if, after you’ve grabbed it yourself, you could let people know about just how goddamned free this thing is, otherwise the title of my unpublished future autobiography will be “From Writing about the Beach to Sleeping on it — How I Fucked up My Life.”

And here are the links —

Dirt Baby and Other Small Mercies on Amazon UK

Dirt Baby and Other Small Mercies on

Amazon’s free Kindle app for computers, phones and tablets

Now, for the love of God, get downloading.

~ by Stuart on April 4, 2013.

2 Responses to “The Bargain of the Willenium”

  1. Bought my copy months ago but was too shy to send a “‘Louder than God, Better than Fucking!’ content, Original, Interesting (When’s the next installment??) and I LOVED IT!” message but here it is in a comment 🙂

    • You should have been less shy, because that’s a killer tag-line. Louder than God, better than fucking. I want that on my tombstone.

      And thanks, super pleased you dug it so much. As for the next installment, I don’t want to say never, but probably never. I’m done with prose, for at least the foreseeable future.

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