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• I would've liked to write for the new Spitting Image, but unfortunately I'm far too funny. 1 hour ago
• twitter.com/JAVdottxt/stat… https://t.co/14GpqcMmyO 4 hours ago
• Prince Philip's Desk is the sex position in which all Tories are conceived. 7 hours ago
• Tough times ahead for the kid in every 80's movie bully gang whose personality is "belches a lot" twitter.com/BloombergUK/st… 22 hours ago
• The only exercise I get is flying across the room into the wall when a vampire hits me. 23 hours ago
• "...this first phase of Peter Andre's career, before the post-Jungle reboot as Prince Pete the Wonderful Dad, back… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 1 day ago
• Laying under a tree in the park, one blissful spring morning, minding my own business, and Hulk Hogan dropped the b… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 2 days ago
• Ice-T doing an acoustic, melancholy cover of Cop Killer at Boycie's funeral. 2 days ago
• Sent home early from my first gig as a wedding DJ. https://t.co/l2rn6QAV3e 2 days ago
• RT @franticplanet: When you chewed the magic gum even though Willy Wonka told you not to. https://t.co/tK6nbBeECT 4 days ago